Sacrifices
by lost highway
Summary: Gokudera had always known that the Famiglia came first. But he never said that it made his job any easier. 8059


**Title:** Sacrifices

**Fandom:** KHR

**Pairing:** 8059

**Rating: **PG-15ish

**Summary:** Gokudera had always known that the Famiglia came first. But he never said that it made his job any easier.

**Warnings:** Foul language, violence, boyXboy

**Author's Note:** I love issues in relationships. Beta-ed by the amazing **Deep SeaCreature**

**Disclaimer:** No money is being made off this fic. Its purpose is solely for pleasure.

**Sacrifices**

"We're over." Brown eyes widened at the cold statement.

"Mah, Hayato, this isn't something that you joke about."

Pale green eyes turned into slits of ice. "I'm not joking idiot."

Yamamoto gaped for a minute. "What do you mean 'we're over'?"

"Exactly that," Gokudera snapped back. "Our relationship is over. There is now more 'we'."

Yamamoto stumbled back. "Hayato…Hayato, I love you. Don't do this. Please."

"It's done," Gokudera replied coldly. "You should also know that I never cared for you. Ever."

"That's a lie," Yamamoto snarled back, finally releasing the tight rein he had over his anger. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me."

"I don't love you," Gokudera shot back, looking straight into Yamamoto's eyes. "I never loved you, and I never will love you. In fact, the only reason we were together for so long was because it was convenient."

"So you made love to me out of convenience," Yamamoto stated coldly.

"No," Gokudera replied. "I fucked you out of convenience."

"Really," Yamamoto scoffed. "I don't accept this."

Gokudera growled, his cool façade breaking. "There is nothing left to accept. Simply put, I have no need for you any more except for Family business."

"Tsuna won't be pleased," Yamamoto said in a last ditch attempt.

"Fuck Tsuna!" Gokudera snarled back, losing his temper. Yamamoto's eyes narrowed.

"So this is how it's going to be? Fine. I'll follow your rules. I won't talk to you unless it's business; I won't look at you unless it's a mission. I won't forgive and I most certainly won't forget." Yamamoto said, his eyes burning. Gokudera almost shivered; the only time he saw this look was when Yamamoto was mercilessly slaughtering the enemy. He felt a pang of regret that it had come to this, but it had to be done.

"Che," he scoffed. "Don't be so melodramatic. I used you for sex, get over it. Your world won't come crashing down. You were never a lover, never a friend. Only a pawn to be used in my playing field. And you've served your purpose."

A second later, Gokudera was stumbling back into the door from a right hook to his face. Gingerly, he touched the area; that was going to bruise nicely. He smirked at the panting man across from him. He bent down, gathered his bag, turned his heel, and walked out the front door of his shared flat for the last time.

Stepping into his car, he drove full speed back to his new condo. Parking the car in the garage of the building, he paused for a moment before slumping over in his seat, his head in his hands.

Tears silently fell onto the perfectly pressed Prada suit. He opened his wallet and pulled out a picture of Yamamoto. Silently, he kissed it before pulling out his lighter and burning it. Letting him go had been the hardest thing he had ever done, but the Family always came first. His loyalty was to the Vongola Decimo before himself. He just hoped that one day, Takeshi would understand what he did and why he did it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The phone rang from within the condominium. Immediately, a pale hand picked it up and flipped it open.

"Is it done?" A voice commanded through the link.

"Yes," Gokudera replied, his voice steady. "Everything is as it should be."

"Reborn," another voice interjected. "I don't like this at all."

"Boss," Gokudera interrupted, "it has to be done this way. All our informants have been disposed of. We need a different strategy. We don't want the Costa Famiglia to become another Millefiore Incident."

"But for you to end your relationship with Yamamoto…" Tsuna trailed off.

"I just hope that in the future, when things are better, he'll understand why I did it," Gokudera replied. "No matter how much we wish differently, this is the mafia. The Vongola will always come first. For the both of us."

"I know," Tsuna sighed resignedly. His following tone, however, was anything but. "Then starting right now, the plan begins. We've already started to drop hints about how you have had a massive falling out with the Vongola and how you're out for retribution."

"Remember," Reborn added, "this mission does not exist."

"Understood," Gokudera replied. With that, the link was cut. Gokudera placed the phone down with shaky hands. The mission was daunting. Getting into the inner circle of the Costa famiglia would be difficult. But it had to be done. The future of the Vongola depended on it. But it didn't make breaking his four year relationship with Takeshi any easier. Gokudera smiled as he allowed himself to recall how it had taken over six years of dancing around each other before an accidental kiss cemented their feelings.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**_Ten years ago…_**

"We're back!" Tsuna shouted joyfully as the smoke cleared and he found himself in front of his house again. Gokudera grinned at him before turning to look for Yamamoto. The Idiot was nowhere to be seen. Memories rushed back as Gokudera remembered that Yamamoto had been at baseball practice. It seemed that Tsuna had realized this at the same time. They both grinned at each other before racing to school to see the third part of their triumvirate.

At the celebration dinner at Tsuna's house later that night, Yamamoto pulled Gokudera aside.

"What is it Baseball Idiot?"

"About that Battle with Gamma," Yamamoto paused, "Friends?"

Gokudera looked startled for a moment before slowly smirking. "Che, you really are an Idiot if you think that after saving each other countless times we'd be anything less than friends."

Yamamoto beamed before pulling him into a tight hug.

"Gah! Unhand me, you oaf! I didn't give you permission to touch me!"

Yamamoto chuckled. "So does this mean you'll come and watch me play baseball?"

"Of course not," Gokudera retorted. "I'll be dead before that happens."

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Gokudera smiled as he remembered how he went to every single game after that incident. He snorted. He had been in love with the fool forever. He just never had the guts to say it. _Look at me,_ he thought _I'm acting like a woman. I need to focus on the job. I can fix things when this is all over._

He rifled through his briefcase, searching for a thick folder. Pulling it out, he began to read through the contents, memorizing the details. As the Right Hand Man of the Vongola Boss, he was a prominent figure. In short, he was perfect for infiltrating the Costa famiglia with no one being any wiser. Power struggles were not uncommon in the Mafia, and with Gokudera's history of rebellion, he was the best man to play the "Right Hand Man who never got enough credit" role. The rest of the families didn't know how loyal Gokudera was and intrafamilial relationships went bad all the time. Placing rumors of his dissent in the right places would reach the right people, allowing him to be sought out by other families wanting his intelligence and power. And when he was approached, he would be ready.

But all rumors had to start with fact. A very public argument with Tsuna, over the top rudeness to the other Guardians, and finally a very public break up with Yamamoto cemented his isolation. The Mafia world knew very well that Gokudera Hayato was looking for retribution. Gokudera knew he couldn't show it, but it fucking hurt that after ten years of solid support and loyalty, the other guardians and family members didn't find it suspicious that he was trying to usurp power. But he was realistic. After everything, he was still prone to snapping and he had only really let Yamamoto and Tsuna in behind his walls. But it hurt that one of the people he had let in, in the end, never really understood him.

In the end, however he still had a job to do. If his calculations were right, he should start getting phone calls within three days. The Famiglia's wouldn't hesitate once his dissent was definite. He had heard the whispers of "always wanted power," "even challenged the Vongola Tenth for the spot ten years ago," "who knows how long he's been planning," "genius, brains behind the family." Thanks to Reborn, all the spy networks would be in full swing with this information. It wouldn't be long. All he had to do was wait and play the part.

His phone rang. Raising an eyebrow, he glanced at the Caller ID. His heart clenched and he had to take a deep breath before he flipped the phone open.

"Yeah."

"Tsuna wants us to complete the DeCarlo mission."

"Give me ten minutes. I'll be in the garage." Gokudera waited for a reply before realizing that the other man had hung up on him. _Probably as soon as he gave me the information,_ he thought dryly. _Well, it's not like I should have expected a warm greeting._ Grabbing his holsters and rings he shrugged on his suit jacket and walked out his door.

Ten minutes later, he was in a car with Yamamoto, driving towards their target. It was silent as always, but there was an unbearable level of tension that had never existed. Both men ignored it, reviewing the mission parameters before quietly and efficiently completing the mission. They still worked seamlessly together, the only noticeable difference being the tightening of their jaws every time they glanced at each other.

Finally done with the mission, they both stopped in the Vongola lockers to shower. Stepping out from his shower, Gokudera wrapped a towel around his waist and reached for the manila envelope that held their mission report. It was snatched from under his fingers before he could get a proper grip on it. He glared at Yamamoto; it was always his job to hand in the mission report. The other man didn't even flinch.

"I can hand that into the Tenth.," Gokudera growled. Yamamoto gave him a long hard look before answering.

"You really are a heartless bastard," he said as if he was conversing about the weather. Gokudera's eyes widened. "I understand that I never meant anything to you, but for you to turn around and say the same thing to Tsuna, well, that's unforgivable. He protected you, threw himself in harm's way for you, gave you a family when no one else would, and most of all, was your friend. And you threw it all back in his face. I don't think he wants to see you, so I think from now on I'll hand the reports in. He doesn't need you anymore."

With that, Yamamoto walked out of the lockers; envelope tucked firmly under one arm. Gokudera stood frozen in the middle of the room, his hand still outstretched towards the place where Yamamoto stood. _What the-_ Shaking himself out of his stupor, he quickly got dressed before returning to his apartment. The last thing on his mind before his head hit the pillow was how everyone he loved kept leaving him behind.

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"We have a proposal for you," A gravelly voice sounded through the earpiece of a cell phone. "If you are interested, Costa docks at 3:28am."

Gokudera was out of his bed before the line went dead. 2:47. Just enough time to change and get to the docks. He leapt out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. Finally! After two weeks of biding his time and turning down other offers, he had gotten the one call he had been waiting for. Everything was running on this first meeting; he had to play his part perfectly. One wrong move and they would be on him like sharks.

At 3:22 he was at the Costa docks searching for any sign of life. He had let Uri out of her box. He was eager, but he wasn't stupid. Anything could go wrong. He checked his watch again. 3:24. Something moved, and he quickly spun to face that direction. Hearing nothing else, he pulled his gun out of his holster. Every fiber in his body was screaming to run, but he stood his ground. He hadn't come this far to run away. Absently, he ran his thumb over his Storm Guardian Ring, only to remember belatedly that he had given it to Tsuna. It not only went along with his cover story, but it was one of the few things the Vongola could not afford to lose. The weaker rings would have to suit him for now.

Another sound echoed eerily through the docks. He spun quickly, firing three successive shots while pulling out a rocket bomb. Suddenly, a figure leapt through the fog. A quick head shot and the figure fell to the ground, only to spring up a moment later. _What the -_ Gokudera threw his bombs at the figure before diving off the dock, narrowly missing the explosion.

Underwater, he made his way in the direction of the unbroken docks. Nearly blind, he reached out for the wood. Feeling the wet substance, he broke the surface, gasping for air. The explosives and gun were now useless. He lit his flame, waiting for something to happen. All he heard was a creak before he blacked out from a blow to the head.

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Gokudera woke up with a gasp as water was thrown against his face. His chest heaved as he tried to take in air. But his mind worked quickly. He noted the handcuffs chaining him to the wall; he felt the stool underneath him, hard and unforgiving. And most of all, he could smell blood all around him. Wherever he was, it was not good.

"The sleeping beauty is finally awake," A voice spoke from one dark corner of the cell. Gokudera strained his eyes against the little light in order to get a better look at his captor.

"Who are you?" Gokudera demanded. "And what do you want?"

"Now, now Gokudera," the voice chided lightly, "Don't tell me you've forgotten me already? I mean, just a few hours ago, you were waiting for me."

"Costa," Gokudera stated, his eyes widening.

"Very good!" The voice sounded amused. "It is a pleasure to meet you again Gokudera."

"Matteo." Gokudera said as a figure stepped into the light. The Right Hand Man of the Costa family was not someone to be taken lightly. "I take it that you attacked me then?"

"No hard feelings, right Gokudera?" Gokudera snorted. "Come now, I had to make sure you were worth your weight before bringing you here."

"By almost killing me?"

"Hardly," Matteo scoffed. "That was nothing. I wasn't even aiming to kill. But I must say, you did fight off our newest weapon with ease."

"Weapon?" Matteo just laughed before turning the lights on. Gokudera paled as he took in the man in front of him. The man -no _creature_- that stood in front of him was more machine than human. It was a fleshy head attached to a steel body. It was as if someone had dipped the man into liquid steel and it had hardened around his body. It was an unnerving sight, even to a mafia veteran like Gokudera.

"Like it? It's our version of the perfect warrior. A highly trained operative in a body that can't be destroyed. Impenetrable metal, perfect coordination, speed, strength, and intelligence mixed into one."

"What have you done to yourself?" Gokudera whispered.

"What any Right Hand Man would have done," Matteo replied. "I've bettered myself for the good of the family. These bodies have been tailored to with stand everything but the most powerful of flames."

"What are you planning?"

"The same thing as you. To take down the Vongola. Will you join us? We could use a man like you. What say you?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_It had been so easy_ Gokudera thought as he was taken to the Costa mansion. A simple yes and the Costa had taken him under their wings. And their plan was even simpler. He was to be a double agent for the Vongola, biding his time until they were at their weakest or most unguarded. And then the Costa would attack, annihilating the once powerful Family.

"This is all fine," Gokudera interrupted. "But how can you trust me with these details?"

Matteo smiled, "I'm glad you asked. But first, let me introduce you to my Boss, Costa Tercero ."

As etiquette dictated, Gokudera knelt in front of the man. He slowly stood, taking in the shrewd and calculating eyes of Raphael Costa. The back of his neck prickled. Something was up.

"Has he agreed?"

"He doesn't know yet."

Gokudera resisted the urge to fidget as the two men had a silent conversation. Finally, the Boss of the Costa spoke to him directly.

"Hayato Gokudera. Right Hand Man of the Vongola Decimo. You will be welcome to my Famiglia provided you give me something in return. Do you agree?"

"What is it that I have to give?"

"Yes or no. If you agree, then you are agreeing to the payment. If you disagree, you sleep with the fishes tonight."

Gokudera swallowed before contemplating his options. Even if the payment was ridiculous, a refusal meant his death and then danger for the Vongola. Better to agree, it kept his options open.

"I agree." Raphael and Matteo both smiled sharply.

"So be it. In three weeks, we will replace your left arm with our most advanced weaponry. Welcome to the Family Hayato Gokudera."

Before he could panic, Gokudera's mouth and nose were covered by a rag soaked in chloroform. He struggled for a moment before the chemical effectively knocked him out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gokudera came to on the very docks where he had been ambushed. The sun was high in the sky, making him wonder how many days he had been absent. He winced as he dragged himself to his feet. Was there really any reason to beat him like a rag doll? He stumbled over to his bike, hoping that they had the decency to leave the key on him. He cursed as his pockets came up empty. Bastards had taken everything from him. A few quick movements, and Gokudera had hotwired the bike.

Twenty minutes later, he collapsed onto a chair in his flat. Slumping over, still covered in grime he eyed the light on his phone, indicating that he had several messages. Pulling himself up, he staggered into the bathroom, intent on showering before dealing with what had just happened.

Hot water pounded his tired body as he stood under the spray. As he was reaching for the bar of soap he stopped, looking at his outstretched left arm. The sudden memory of what was going to happen to him brought him to his knees, hard. He was going to lose his arm. Permanently. In three weeks. He ran out of the bathroom, not caring that he was sopping wet. He reached for his cell phone and hit the number 2 on his speed dial. The phone rang once before Gokudera realized what he was doing and snapped it shut. He sank down onto his bed, his head in his hands. _Calling him won't do me any good now,_ he thought. _I made sure of that._ Taking a deep breath, he stared at his arm. He could do this. He had to do this. One arm was nothing in the face of the safety of the Family. _Except that it is,_ a voice said in the back of his head. _Do you think Tsuna would approve?_ He sighed and returned to his shower.

Stepping out and dressing himself, Gokudera flexed his fingers. _Three weeks_, he thought before he turned his thoughts to his phone messages.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What the hell are those things?" Ryohei yelled as the Costa Family launched their attack against the Vongola base. "They're not human!"

Tsuna hovered over the creatures, his flame glinting against the skin of the men. "Aim for the heads. They're the only things not protected."

The fire power concentrated on the heads, and the creatures began falling. A ragged cheer went up from the Vongola. But there were still so many more men swarming the base. Gokudera glanced over the men and called out to Tsuna. "Increase your flame power to its highest. It should melt the metal."

Tsuna nodded and gestured to the rest of the Guardians. Pure flames were shot out towards the Costa men and soon enough, all that was left was twisted metal and charred flesh. One by one, the Guardians collapsed to their knees, their flames sputtering out. The victory was decisive, but had there been more men, the Vongola would have been forced to retreat.

Tsuna staggered to his feet. "Everyone get inside. Meeting in fifteen minutes. We have to figure out what to do against this threat."

"I agree with Ryohei, heat is the best way to stop them. That metal didn't stand a chance under our Flames."

"We could equip everyone with specialized flame throwers to optimize our flame output," Yamamoto added. "I'm sure that Gianni or Spanner will be able to make something."

"While the metal won't conduct electricity," Gokudera added quietly, "flesh certainly will. If we can soak them with Rain and then use Lightning to electrocute them, then we should be able to finish the left over men with ease."

Tsuna nodded once before wrapping up the meeting. "Then it's agreed. We build specialized guns for out flames. And Lambo and Yamamoto will practice broad scale attacks together."

Everyone nodded before getting up to leave. Gokudera placed his hand on the young Thunder Guardian's shoulder. "Lambo, use the simulation room I've set up. Just type in the code 4856 and this very same scenario will be recreated. Practice -"

"Yamamoto-senpai can help me from here," Lambo interrupted. "We don't need your help anymore."

Shocked, Gokudera could only watch as Lambo turned on his heel and walked towards Yamamoto. Everyone had come to a standstill, watching this drama unfold. Gokudera paled as he noticed everyone's eyes on him. He exited in a hurry. But it wasn't fast enough to miss how Ryohei and Yamamoto both squeezed Lambo's shouders in support, all the while glaring in his direction.

Tsuna watched the entire proceeding with narrowed eyes. Once everyone had left, he turned to Reborn. "I don't like it."

"You worry too much," Reborn admonished. "Trust in Gokudera. He will do what's right. He'll bend, but he won't break."

Tsuna sighed as he shuffled the papers in front of him. "I trust him Reborn, but I can't help but worry."

Gokudera resisted the urge to vomit as he followed Matteo further underground. It was the day.

"The attack on the Vongola went as planned didn't it?" Matteo said conversationally, sounding not at all like he was dragging a man to get his arm removed. "It was exceptional planning on your part. If they had such a hard time with half our force, think about what will happen when we hit them with our full strength."

Gokudera grimaced. Matteo looked over his shoulder and grinned. "No need to be so quiet. It's not as bad as it seems. Wait, you're not taking any anesthetic, so maybe it will be bad."

Gokudera growled at the other man. He didn't want them to mess with anything else in his body while he was under. He would be given a local anesthetic, but he didn't trust them with anything else. Finally in the sterilized operation room, Gokudera shed his clothes and put on a pair of scrubs. Matteo watched from the side as the doctors strapped Gokudera into the chair. It was a delicate procedure and any movement would result in irreversible damage.

"See you tomorrow Hayato." Gokudera watched as the other man left. He would die before he admitted it, but he was terrified. He wanted nothing more than to have his family next to him. Losing an arm was hard enough. Voluntarily giving it up was the epitome of insanity. And to top it all off, it would be mere weeks before the Vongola was attacked again. He hoped that the Tenth had plans implemented to prevent a massacre.

He watched as a needle entered his arm, efficiently numbing the entire section. He watched as his skin was peeled back, his muscles, bones, and nerve endings were removed. And as each one was removed, metal replica was placed in its place. Costadium is what they called it. It was a pure metal that had unique properties, one of those being incredible strength and durability. His metal had been created at a higher degree to withstand the power of any Dying Will flame. This way, he would still be able to use his abilities. He supposed that the Vongola was lucky that not every Costa member had this metal. The price for his had been astronomical, and the Costa did not have enough money to outfit each of their members with such weaponry.

Twenty one hours later, Gokudera had a new arm, made purely of Costadium. The doctors made him run through basic cognitive and motor tests before they wheeled him into a recovery room. Gokudera swallowed the two sleeping pills and fell into a dreamless sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wake up Hayato." Gokudera opened his eyes blearily. He lifted his arms to rub the sleep out. That was when he realized that his left hand didn't look like the right. Memories came flooding back to him and he barely made it to the trashcan before he threw up his stomach's contents. He heaved a few more times before he got control of himself.

"Yeah, that happened to me too," was all that Matteo had to say.

"Yeah?" Gokudera said back. "Now what?"

"We plan," Matteo replied. "You'll go back to Vongola and we will build our army. When they are at their weakest point, we attack."

"What destroys this arm?"

"Your brand? Absolutely nothing. The typical brand, only the strongest of flames," Matteo replied. "And before you ask about safeguarding the formula, it's already done. It's hidden here in the lab. And no one but you, me, and Raphael know about this place."

Gokudera nodded. "Tsuna just recently proposed to Kyoko-san. The engagement party will be the best time to attack. If you can break down the security system, then ambushing the Vongola will be easy. But it won't be for a while."

"We have all the patience in the world," Matteo replied. "We'll be in touch Hayato."

"So what you're saying is that they'll be attacking the night of our official engagement?" Tsuna sighed as he looked at Reborn. "Kyoko will be heartbroken."

"She will understand," Reborn replied easily. "There is a reason she is the wife of the Vongola Boss."

"Still," Tsuna trailed off. "Anyway, what about this metal?"

"It can only be destroyed by the strongest of flames," Gokudera replied. "It works as if it is an actual arm. There is no loss of function from replacing body parts."

"You sound like you know this personally," Reborn said, narrowing his eyes.

Gokudera winced. "I have seen the operation first hand, it was not pleasant." _There, not a complete lie._

Tsuna paled. "And you know where the formula is?"

"Yes," Gokudera replied confidently. "The night this attack is to take place, I will go back to the dungeon and destroy the place."

"Very well," Tsuna said. "Then good luck with your mission."

Gokudera bowed slightly before leaving the room. Both Tsuna and Reborn watched him carefully. "He's hiding something."

"March 26th." Matteo instantly woke up from his nap.

"You're sure?" He asked excitedly. "That's only three weeks away."

"Positive," Gokudera snapped the phone shut as he heard footsteps coming towards his office. He busied himself with some paperwork as he heard his door open. "Ah, Tenth. I was just finishing the paper work that you wanted. It will be only your desk within the hour."

Gokudera looked up when he didn't hear a response from his boss. His eyes widened as they met brown eyes rather than the customary hazel. Yamamoto towered over him, an unreadable expression on his face. Glaring at the man, Gokudera returned to his work, hoping that the other man would leave when he realized that he was being ignored. But Yamamoto didn't leave. Gokudera became tenser and tenser until he snapped. He glared upward and opened his mouth to snap out some comment.

"I was wondering how long you would be able to ignore me," Yamamoto said conversationally. "But that's not why I am here."

"Then tell me and get out." Gokudera snapped back.

The next thing he knew, Yamamoto had him by the throat and against a wall. "You're up to something Ha-ya-to. And I want to know what it is."

"If I was up to something, you would be the last person I would tell," Gokudera snarled as he struggled to get free.

"Then who would you tell?" Yamamoto growled. "The Costa Family? Because I've heard a lot of things, and none of them are good."

"When you want to accuse me of being a traitor to the Vongola," Gokudera said icily, "make sure you have proof."

"You're not denying it," Yamamoto warned, his hand tightening.

"There's nothing to deny," Gokudera snarled back. "The universe will collapse in on itself before I betray the Vongola."

"I sure hope so," Yamamoto said as he let go of the other man. "Because if I find out otherwise, I will kill you myself."

With that, Yamamoto strode out of the room. Gokudera collapsed into his chair, massaging his throat. He blinked as he felt a single tear slide down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away before mentally berating himself. The Family came first. He had known exactly what he was getting into when he took a position as one of the Vongola Guardians. Bending over the desk, he continued with his paperwork. As he worked, his vision began to blur slowly. He blinked again when he felt another tear trail down his cheek.

"Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna stepped through the doorway. "Is that paperwork-"

Gokudera stared blankly at Tsuna's horrified expression. "Huh?"

"Why are you crying?" Tsuna asked. "What's wrong Hayato? Please, tell me."

"Ahaha," Gokudera weakly chuckled. "Please don't mind me. I don't know what's come over me. Here's the paperwork you've been waiting for."

"Gokudera, hiding what's wrong won't make Tsuna feel any better."

"It's just Yamamoto, Tenth. It can't be helped." Tsuna looked like he was going to say something, but a look from Reborn silenced him.

Tsuna sighed. "How much more time?"

"Three weeks until your engagement party."

"March 26th," Tsuna sighed. "Well, we'll be ready."

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**_Two weeks later…_**

Gokudera crawled around the forest where the underground dungeon was located. He needed to set these bombs beforehand, so that when the time came, it would be easy destruction. He had already set the ones in the dungeon; all that was left was the surrounding forest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**The day of the engagement…**_

"Congratulations Tsu-kun and Kyoko-chan!" Haru said boisterously. "I'm so proud of you Tsuna for finally having the guts to pop the question!"

Tsuna turned bright red as the attendees chuckled quietly. Everyone knew that Reborn had threatened him with a Dying Will bullet had he not done it himself.

"If you don't take care of Kyoko, I will hurt you to the extreme." Ryohei said good naturedly but with a serious glint in his eyes. "Congratulations."

As the rest of the Guardians and Vongola said their congratulations, Gokudera began to feel his fingers trembling. _Get a grip!_ He threw back the rest of his scotch before approaching the blushing couple.

"Boss," he paused as everyone fell silent. "I want to congratulate you on your engagement to Kyoko-san. I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect pair. The love you share for each other is something that only a few people find, so don't ever let it go. Congrats."

With that, he flipped open his lighter, looked directly at Tsuna, and lit the cigarette in his mouth. Tsuna's lips twitched imperceptibly and then, all hell broke loose.

Windows shattered as the sound of machine guns filled the air. But the Vongola were already firing at the men coming through. Gokudera eased himself out of the room, careful not to attract any attention from the Vongola or the Costa. Both parties expected him to be there, and he had an important mission to complete. He cursed as he almost ran into Matteo and Raphael as he turned the corner. Matteo continued on obliviously, but Raphael stared suspiciously in Gokudera's direction before he too moved towards the fight. Gokudera twitched, Raphael was up to something. But he ignored it as he sprinted towards his bike. He had more important things to worry about.

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"Shit," Yamamoto said as he neatly beheaded yet another Costa creature. He could see that with their specialized weapons, the other family was being pushed back, but it didn't feel like it.

"Yamamoto Takeshi, we meet again," A man, no a metal creature leapt in front of him. He carried a gun in one hand and an ax in the other.

"Matteo," Yamamoto breathed out. "You always did love metal toys."

"Apparently, so does your Storm Guardian," Matteo grinned. "By the way, where is he?"

"He's here, somewhere," Yamamoto replied, already doubting his answer.

"Sure about that?" Matteo's eyes glinted and Yamamoto lost it. He began a furious assault, viciously breaking down the other man's defenses. Focusing all of his flame onto his blade, he thrust forward, neatly beheading Matteo. He was off in search of Gokudera before the head even hit the ground.

_No, no, no, no, no,_ Yamamoto thought as he raced through the battle. There were signs everywhere that the Vongola were winning and pushing the Costa out, but there was no sign of Gokudera. _This can't be happening. It can't be true._

Finally outside, he noticed that Gokudera's bike was missing. Racing towards his own, he quickly turned on the GPS tracking device specially designed to find their vehicles. It took mere seconds to find Gokudera's location, and as soon as it did, Yamamoto was flying out the Vongola gates.

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_Almost ready,_ Gokudera thought as he hid himself in the brush. In just a few moments, the new guard will arrive for a shift change. He quietly watched the entrance to the dungeon, waiting for the perfect time to sneak into the dungeon. _Twelve minutes left._

Gokudera heard a rustle behind him. Spinning around, he whipped out his gun.

"Gotcha," A sword easily passed through his defenses and landed lightly over his jugular. "Don't move."

Gokudera froze as Yamamoto stepped into his line of vision. He glared when the Rain Guardian didn't lower his weapon. "What the fuck do you think you're doing Idiot?"

But Yamamoto didn't answer. Instead, he stared. Gokudera followed his gaze and paled. The gun that he was still pointing at Yamamoto was held in his left arm. And there was no glove, no sleeve, and no jacket to cover up what had happened to him. Gokudera knew how this looked. Suddenly he found himself slammed into a tree, Yamamoto's forearm pressing downon his trachea. He struggled futilely against the taller man.

"It's not what you think," he rasped. Yamamoto simply pressed harder, his eyes burning with anger and an emotion Gokudera didn't realize. He clawed and struggled against the iron grip. If Yamamoto didn't let him go soon, he would have to knock him out. A crack of a twig silenced all noise and movement.

"…Yeah, I heard something." Gokudera quickly slapped his own hand over Yamamoto's mouth before releasing Uri from her box. He waved her in the direction of the noise. She stalked off a distance before meowing loudly. "Oh, it's just a cat."

Gokudera rolled his eyes and the footsteps and voice faded away. Only an idiot would think that a cat in the jungle would be normal. A tight hand quickly brought him back to his own situation. _Seven minutes_

"Remember what I said if I were to find that you had betrayed the Vongola?" Yamamoto snarled in a whisper. "If you think for one second-"

"Shut up!" Gokudera exclaimed. "You don't know shit about my situation."

"Then explain it to me!" Yamamoto whispered furiously.

"Fuck you!" Gokudera said, all his anger and hurt pouring into those two words. Yamamoto dropped his arms in surprise. "Fuck you, you bastard! You never did trust me!"

There was complete silence broken only by Gokudera's hard breathing before Yamamoto whispered, "Why can't I let you go?"

Gokudera's eyes widened when Yamamoto's lips crushed against his. The kiss was all tongue and teeth, and Gokudera wouldn't have had it any other way. He shuddered as he closed his eyes, looping his arms around the other man's neck. Yamamoto pulled Gokudera tightly against him, gentling the kiss. Gokudera sighed before breaking away. Resting his forehead against Yamamoto's shoulder, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Yamamoto pulled back in surprise and glanced down. Only to be shoved away as the forest exploded behind Gokudera. He felt something hit his chest before he was propelled backwards from the spot. The last thing he saw before he crashed into a tree was the flames swallowing Gokudera.

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Gokudera raced towards the entrance of the dungeon, flames eagerly licking up the ground behind him. _Damn it all,_ he thought furiously. _I hate improvising!_

He steadfastly pushed what had just happened to the back of his mind. There would be time for it later. Right now, he had to concentrate on not being burned alive. Finally reaching the entrance, he dove into the door, the flames surging around it just as his feet pulled in. Breathing hard, he grimaced at the state of his suit. _Another one bites the dust._

Rising through his feet, he peered down the hallway. There was a sound behind him, and as he turned to look, the butt of a gun slammed into his temple.

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"Well, well. Maybe I should've known better." Gokudera groaned as he struggled to consciousness. "Something about this scene seems familiar."

"Raphael?" Gokudera said as soon as he could open an eye without pain. A hard right hook to his jaw sent him crashing to the floor, the chair he was tied to landing on top of him. He choked back a cry as his vision blurred and darkened. _No, no, no,_ he thought desperately. _You weren't supposed to come back. You were supposed to be dead._

"Just like you planned, right Gokudera?" Raphael said viciously as Gokudera realized that he had spoken out loud. "Well, your luck ran out. Not only are you going to die here, you're going to die as a failure."

With that, he reared his foot back, and kicked Gokudera, shattering his nose. This time, Gokudera howled in pain as he felt blood gushing down his face. This wasn't supposed to be happening.

"How do you think it feels to watch your family be destroyed in front of your eyes?" Raphael snarled as he delivered a kick to Gokudera's ribs. A pained whimper escaped Gokudera's lips.

"And now, I'm going to make sure your precious Tenth will live with the guilt that he sent his family to his death."

Gokudera stiffened as Raphael flipped open his cell phone. When had the other man gotten that? There were numbers on that phone that only he was privy to.

"Ah, here we are," Raphael smirked as he pressed the call button. Suddenly, the phone exploded in his hand. Yelling as most of his palm was burned off, he glared down at Gokudera. The prone man smirked weakly before replying.

"The only way to access the Tenth is by speed dial. And any other way means the phone will blow up."

"You little shit!" Raphael screamed as he rained blows down on Gokudera. He dragged the man back to his sitting position and continued his assault. "I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance. Because of you, the Costa Family will never amount to anything again!"

Shaking with anger, he drew out his gun and pointed it at Gokudera. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch. I'll kill you."

Gokudera stared blankly at the gun. His vision alternately brightened and darkened and he felt very sleepy. Was it really all ending like this? Raphael would kill him, escape, and retreat with the formula to lick his wounds. But he would be back, and this time, the Tenth wouldn't have his Right Hand Man to rely on. The Vongola would be in danger again. Gokudera couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let that happen. With the barest of movements, he pointed his middle finger towards an area that he knew had a bomb. Just one explosion would set off all the others, destroying the entire unit. Gathering the fleeting bits of his resolve, he directed it out of his middle finger, a Flame that was small, but burning brightly. A small sweep of his finger, and he felt it leave his finger, shooting towards the bomb.

The first explosion rocked the room that they were in. Caught unawares, Raphael fired blindly, the bullet going through Gokudera's shoulder. But Gokudera barely felt it as the rest of the bombs went off, collapsing the entire unit. The chair landed heavily on him, and he knew no more.

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Death was…not supposed to hurt this much. Nor was it supposed to be so noisy. Crap, Gokudera thought. _I was hoping that being the Right Hand Man would have saved me from the pits of hell. I guess not_

He tried to look down at his body, but his head wouldn't move. Slowly the fuzziness around him began to fade away and the pain and noise hit him with full force.

Something was in his throat and blocking him from breathing. Gokudera started to hack and cough, bucking when the obstruction didn't move. In the midst of his panic, he felt a hand holding him down as the thing was removed. He took deep gasping breaths as arms gently rearranged him into a more comfortable position. Opening his eyes slowly, he blurted out the first things that came to mind. "Oh god, this really is hell."

Only it came out as a rasp. The figure, now smiling a genuine smile instead of his usual lewd smirk, handed him a glass of water. Gokudera gulped it down and tried again. "What the fuck are you doing in my hell?"

Dr. Shamal just laughed. "Welcome back to the land of the living Hayato."

"I'm alive?" Gokudera asked stupidly. A sharp prick to his toe had him glaring at the other man.

"Yes, yes you are. And you seem to have your limbs about you." Shamal proceeded to test all of Gokudera's reflexes, ignoring the grunts of pain and the angry hisses. Finally done, he scribbled some notes down.

"What happened?" Gokudera asked quietly.

Shamal sighed. "You've been in a coma for three months. When Sawada found you, you were barely alive. The only thing that stopped your instantaneous death was the chair above you. Both your legs were broken. Your lung was punctured by your broken ribs, your back was badly burnt, and you had severe head trauma. We had to resuscitate you four times in the operating room. Sawada was borderline insane by the end of it."

"And Raphael?"

"Dead."

"So it's done," Gokudera heaved a sigh as he slumped back into the pillow.

"Sawada was devastated," Shamal said bluntly. "You had a 6.7% chance of surviving the first night. There hasn't been a single day that he hasn't come to visit."

Gokudera had the grace to look guilty. He swallowed before continuing. "And Yamamoto?"

"He brought you in with Sawada. I haven't seen him since." Shamal frowned. "Hayato, what happened?"

"The mission. I thought," Gokudera paused. "Well, I thought wrong."

Both men fell silent. After a few moments, Shamal spoke. "Sawada will be here in fifteen minutes. Are you feeling up to meeting him?"

"Always," Gokudera replied. Shamal nodded before leaving the room. That was finally when Gokudera took stock of his own body. There were no bandages, only slight bruises and weak muscles. He touched his nose; it seemed that Shamal had managed to put it back together just fine. Finally, he stared at his left arm. It was still metal. He sighed; he had hoped that some solution had been found. He rolled his shoulders, noting that there were no lasting problems. At long last, he let his mind rest on the fact that Yamamoto hadn't come to see him even once.

_There has to be a reason,_ Gokudera thought desperately. _Perhaps Tenth gave him a mission. Maybe Squalo took him for training._

He laid his head back on the pillow. _I thought that what happened in the forest was a step in the right direction. I thought that he understood._

A thought crept into his mind. _Or maybe he moved on. Maybe you thought wrong._

The implications made Gokudera's head spin. But the squeak of a door had him looking up. Suddenly, his arms were filled with a sobbing Vongola Boss.

"You're awake!" Tsuna said in between sobs as he began to detangle himself from Gokudera. "I-we-I thought you'd never get up."

"As long as you need me," Gokudera said, "I'll always survive."

Tsuna smiled weakly as he finally let go, only to hit Gokudera around the head.

"When did I give you permission to have you arm AMPUTATED?" Tsuna yelled. "I ought to put you back into a coma for that."

Gokudera opened his mouth to argue, but Reborn beat him to it. "Enough Tsuna. We know that it was vital for our survival. But that doesn't make him any less of an idiot. A Right Hand Man must tell his boss everything."

Gokudera looked properly ashamed, "Tenth, I don't regret my decision. The arm works just as well, with the added ability that it is now impregnable."

"You almost died Hayato," Tsuna stated. "I never want to see any family member die on the operating table three times ever again. You made a promise to me when we were in Junior High. You promised that your life was above any mission. Don't break it."

Gokudera nodded resolutely, not daring to open his mouth for fear of choking up. Both men looked away for a minute to compose themselves. Turning back, they gave each other watery grins. Taking a deep breath, Gokudera asked the question that had been plaguing him. "Tenth, where's Yamamoto?"

Tsuna sighed. "Your bomb got him out of harm's way, but also knocked him out. He came to just as we were reaching the area. The forest had been razed to the ground and the walls of the dungeon had completely collapsed. It took the Vongola two hours to dig you out. And by then, you were in such terrible condition that we thought you had died. After you had been deemed comatose, Yamamoto asked for a private audience. It wasn't pretty. But no one's seen him for three months except for Squalo."

"Oh," Gokudera swallowed. "I guess he's alright."

Tsuna's eyes were kind as they gazed at Gokudera. "You don't have to hide anything from me."

Gokudera sighed, "There's nothing to hide. I thought something, but I thought wrong."

Tsuna squeezed his hand before getting to his feet. "We'll try to get you out as soon as possible. I know how much you hate hospitals."

**_Two weeks later…_**

"It's great to be back," Gokudera said to Tsuna as he stepped into his flat. "I'll see you tomorrow Tenth!"

He waved good-bye before moving to open curtains and windows. While his flat looked like it had been cleaned recently, he wanted to have fresh air and sunlight. Walking over to the windows in his living room, he pulled them apart, letting light beam into the room. Turning around, he yelped. Sitting on his couch was Yamamoto Takeshi, his face completely void of emotions. Both men stared at each other for a few moments.

"The girls came over yesterday and cleaned the place up," Yamamoto said monotonously. It was the last straw for Gokudera. For six months he had kept his feelings bottled up. Now, they came pouring out like an avalanche.

There was a loud impact as Gokudera's fist hit Yamamoto's cheek. "Is that all you have to say you goddamned bastard? Well, fuck you! I thought-I was-I should've known. Get out. GET OUT!"

The moment the words came out of Gokudera's mouth, he wished desperately that they hadn't. But to his dismay, Yamamoto stood up abruptly and walked away. The clicking noise of his front door shutting was the last straw.

"FUCK!" He grabbed a vase and threw it at the wall, watching as it shattered on impact. It was like a hurricane was let loose. Everything that came into his hand broke and shattered against the wall. He cursed and yelled throughout the entire time. Finally, he fell to his knees and began to sob uncontrollably.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU, you goddamn idiot!" He all but yelled at the wall. Suddenly, a hot hand was gripping his chin and he was being kissed hard. His eyes widened as they took in Yamamoto's face. When Yamamoto pulled away, he still had a deer in head lights look. Yamamoto swept his thumb across Gokudera's cheek, wiping away tears. Gokudera stared at him, not daring to speak. Yamamoto gently held Gokudera's face with both his hands and placed a kiss on his temple. Gokudera tensed as the kisses slowly moved down his face, touching his cheeks, nose, eyes, chin, and finally his lips in the lightest of touches.

Yamamoto looked straight into his eyes before stating, "I love you. And I'm never going to let you go."

With that, he leaned closer, hesitating for only a second before pressing his lips against Gokudera's. Pulling back slightly, he looked at Gokudera before leaning in. This time, Gokudera met him halfway, his hands coming up to grasp Takeshi's shirt. There was so much to discuss, but Gokudera would be damned if he let go of Takeshi at this moment. He needed this like he needed air. He needed to know that they were going to be okay. He needed to know that Yamamoto loved him as much as he loved Yamamoto.

The kiss became hungrier, Gokudera pressing his tongue against the seam of Takeshi's lips, begging entrance. It was granted immediately as Yamamoto deepened the kiss. Gokudera wrapped his arms tightly across Takeshi's torso, trying to merge himself into the other man. His hands made it up to the dark hair before he yanked the head down harder, biting the other man's lip.

"Hayato…"Takeshi moaned as Gokudera rolled his hips. "Hayato, Hayato, stop. You're injured."

"I don't care," Gokudera muttered through kisses. "I'm not losing you ever again."

"You have me," Yamamotoreplied, pulling out of the kiss. Gokudera growled. "But right now you're still recovering."

"I said, " Gokudera snapped, "that it doesn't matter."

"Hayato," Yamamoto said gently. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going anywhere."

Gokudera tensed when the other man so quickly figured out what was bothering him. "You don't know that."

"I do Hayato. I should have known that something was up. I should have known from the second you had that argument with Tsuna. But I was so blind."

"Damn straight. How could you have thought that I would throw away the only family that I'd ever had?"

"I'm an idiot," Yamamoto said simply, the corner of his lips twitching. "You've said so enough times yourself. But you should have told me."

Gokudera shuddered as Yamamoto wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times, but the mission…"

Yamamoto's grip tensed around him. "I never want to see you die again. And I never want you to sacrifice any part of you for a mission."

Gokudera gently kissed the scar on Takeshi's chin. "You know the Family will always come first. But I promise there won't be any more sacrifices like this."

"Good," Yamamoto said simply before smirking. "But the arm is kinda hot."

Gokudera grinned. That one comment made all that he had done worth it. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. We should experiment on it. You know, sensitivity, reaction to different stimuli, that sort of scientific stuff you like."

"Well," Gokudera said pondering the comment. "I suppose we could. But you should know, an experiment must be repeated multiple times for accuracy."

"That's the best idea you've had yet." And with that, Yamamoto hoisted the other man over his shoulder and stalked into the bedroom, the door slamming behind him. A soft thump followed by quiet chuckles filled the entire flat before they were cut off by a groan.

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Tsuna was glad to see his Storm Guardian in a much, much better mood the next afternoon. He was, simply put, glowing. He smiled at Tsuna as he handed in his report for the mission. Turning around and walking out the door, Tsuna couldn't help but notice how he limped ever so slightly. He heard a small yelp from outside his door followed by an "Idiot, not here!" Chuckling, he turned back to his paper work. It seemed that all was well in the Vongola household.

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A/N: I was soooo tempted not let them make up, but then again, I feel that 8059 will always come together, no matter what the circumstance. This has been my year long project, something that I had pretty much given up on until a sudden plot bunny attack motivated me again :) Hope you all enjoyed it!

Please Read and Review!


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